You see Jay, a guy you knew from SAT classes in Westbury, Long Island. He and your future husband walk into the elevator in Pearson Hall dorm, University of Miami. Jay turns around and introduces you to Mitch. Jay’s friend Mitch doesn’t look like the other guys you have dated. He appears more wild and less polished than your friends.
Do You Know the Time?
Coincidentally? Ironically? Cosmically? You see Mitch at a party the next night and ask him if he knows the time. (Little do either of you know that your future first business is Watch World – all about telling time) Mitch and you start talking, and now you feel more impressed with this long-haired, unpolished hippy dude with a car!
During your first year of undergrad, you and Mitch hang out most days with Jay and a large group of friends.
Friends
The first summer off from school, Jay travels to Mitch’s hometown in Buffalo to go to a concert. The dated photos of this event are frenzied! There is long, beautiful hair, peace signs, a VW bus, and a lot of goings-on that shouldn’t be in a photograph, but hey, it’s before viral videos and phones, so who cares?
You get a phone call from Mitch the following week. You choke back the tears and try to continue breathing. Isn’t breathing an involuntary action? Why is it so hard to take air in and release it? Your legs feel weak as your stomach lurches to the ground. You are standing on an island of grief in the middle of your parents’ kitchen.
Unexpected Tragedy
There’s been a devastating car accident. Jay’s car exploded in flames – Jay has third-degree burns over 90% of his body. He is in critical condition in the ICU, and his chances of survival are slim. You hear the words, but your mind can’t process the information. The potential death of a friend, a peer – is not computing. You and your friends are 18, and this is not supposed to happen to us. Where do you file car accidents and death in your young, inexperienced brain?
You rewind memories. Mitch was just with Jay last week, laughing and listening to music. You were with Jay last semester, hanging out in the Miami dorms.
our first thought is to go to the hospital because you need to do something. You will soon see that you are not alone in this need. Once you enter the hospital, you are directed to sit in the ICU’s separate waiting room (Jay’s waiting room) to support his family. Many of Jay’s friends from Long Island are already holding vigils in the small, quiet room. The smell of hospital antiseptic and human fear permeates the air. Everyone is sitting in a stupor, their need for support palpable; yet, it’s easier to fade into blankness than think about what is actually happening.
Jay’s mom comes out of the ICU to say that she has told Jay we are there and we love him. She tells all of us how meaningful our presence is to their family. She is mothering all of us, grasping to bring a sense of comfort to Jay’s grieving friends.
It’s been many weeks. Jay is still suffering from the intense pain of 3rd degree burns over 90% of his body. You are still 18 and must return to university for your sophomore year.
Mitch drives his too-small Fiat to Long Island to pick you up for the tedious road trip to Florida. You and Mitch visit the “Jay waiting room” before departing on your journey. Again, Jay’s Mom comes out of the ICU to talk to the sad group. She sees Mitch in the waiting room; her eyes tear with gratitude for her son’s devoted friends and the pain of a mother losing her child. She hugs Mitch and tells him Jay will be happy that Mitch was there.
Later that day, you pack the small Fiat with food, college supplies, and necessities. You are surprised your parents still let you drive all the way to Florida after Jay’s tragic accident. Jay is a frequent topic of discussion as you and Mitch head south away from home, family, and Jay.
You arrive safely in Miami three days later and call your parents to let them know all is well.
You hear the news. Jay passed away while you were driving away. The funeral was the day before, and your parents didn’t want to tell you for fear you would turn your car north and race home.
And we would have done exactly that.
Anonymous 
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