Mitch and I were watching The Gilded Age. As usual, I was half-asleep on the couch when I saw something flying.  

“Is that a bird?” I asked.

Mitch already knew it was NOT a bird and was trying to decide what to do with me and the EEEEK! BAT! My voice sounded stressed as I headed to my “go-to” mode of panic-first, ask questions later.

Mitch told me to hide under the couch blanket while he went full Batman.  He was overly optimistic about his Batman skills. After 2 minutes (felt like years) hiding under the blanket, I panted that I needed to go for cover in our bedroom. Yes, I knew I sucked—my panic and fear overcame me. On the other hand, the last thing Mitch wanted was for me to assist.

Meanwhile, the dogs watched the bat like it was a back-and-forth tennis match- Wimble-BAT-don—until Mitch convinced them to abandon the Bat match and go to the bedroom with me.

Bat Sh!t Bedlam

From the safety of the bedroom, I heard “BANG!,” “DAMN!,” “SHIT!” (and other words), but still no bat. For almost 90 minutes, Mitch was unable to capture the hiding bat. We put a towel by our bedroom door jam and decided to try again in the morning.

Match 1 – Bat wins

Match 2 – Calling Robin

In the morning, Mitch called our son-in-law Steve (Batman’s Robin) to join the search and capture. I stayed in the bedroom, Googling Bat-everything. Dr. Know-It-All Google was feeding me all kinds of information about bat poop—or guano—and other bat secretions. Google’s cleaning procedures reminded me of the first COVID-19 sanitation efforts from 2020. The one suggestion that got Mitch to listen was to capture and keep the bat alive so we could get it tested for rabies. Do not just chaperone the flying beast out the door. Side bar:  As I relayed this story to friends, I have discovered that shooing bats out the door is indeed the preferred method of disposal among the non-Google persuasion.

Jessica
I called our daughter Jessica’s group home to say I could not bring Jess to speech therapy that morning. I was not exiting my room until the bat was caught. I sent an email to Sarah, her speech therapist:

Good morning, Sarah.
I cannot bring Jessica today for a reason you’ve never heard before.
We have a bat in our house and I am hiding in my bedroom.

Sarah replied that I was correct; it was an excuse she had never heard used before.

Holy Batman!!!!!!!

Finally, I heard whoops and hollers from our loft—SUCCESS! “How?”, you may ask. Well, it goes like this: Mitch swiped behind a wall clock, the bat flew out, latched onto his shirt (cue screaming), and he and Steve trapped it with their nets. One net on top of the other, which created a cage of sorts. They secured it in Steve’s net. The sulking or perhaps sleeping bat was sent to a fishing bait bucket on our porch.

Match 2 – Mitch and Steve Win!

YOU SOUND STRESSED, MA’AM

When I called the Department of Health, the woman said, “You sound stressed, ma’am!” No kidding! She told me to stop looking at Google. The county instructed us to bring the bat in for rabies testing. If the bat tested negative, we were good to go. If the bat tested positive, that meant rabies shots for us and another blog. 😉

I calmed down a bit until the health department called and said, “The bat you saw last night but didn’t capture is not 100% the same bat that was captured this morning. We are treating this as a two-bat exposure.” Translation – two bats might have entered our house since we lost sight of bat 1 when we went to bed.  She assumed it was the same bat, but there was a chance it could have been another bat. 🙄😲

We haven’t had any bat sightings, so we’re assuming it was only one bat.

Finally received the results from the Department of Health – Our Bat was Rabies Free! WHOO HOOO!

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📚 Calling All Book Clubs! 📚

Have you read Raising Jess: A Story of Hope? I’d love to join your book club—for an engaging, heartfelt discussion.

We can talk about the real-life moments behind the pages, parenting a child with a rare chromosome deletion, the challenges and joys our family has faced, and the journey that inspired the book.

📩 Message me here or write to vickierubinauthor@gmail.com to set it up.