Guest Blog by Betty Vaughan:

HOW STRESS SHOWS UP IN THE HOME

Parenting a child with disabilities often means managing needs that never pause — medical, behavioral, and emotional. That weight doesn’t just sit on your shoulders; it leaks into the walls of your home. Maybe the meals are rushed, the conversations short, the laughter less frequent. Maybe your partner feels like a co-worker more than a co-parent. When stress becomes the houseguest that never leaves, it’s time to take inventory. What feels like tension between you and your child may actually be the daily strain of caregiving that’s coloring every interaction. Naming the stress won’t fix it, but it’s the only way to begin untangling it.

Consider Outside Sources

If your job is contributing to your anxiety — whether due to overwhelming demands, poor management, or emotional burnout — it may be time to consider a long-term career shift. Re-evaluating your path doesn’t mean starting over; it means recalibrating toward work that fits your strengths, values, and lifestyle. For example, if you work in nursing and want better working conditions, shifts, and pay, you can explore flexible masters in nursing programs that support both career growth and family responsibilities. Programs like these can help you gain more autonomy, reduce chronic stress, and build a future that doesn’t require sacrificing your health for your income.

PREPARING FOR PEAK STRESS PERIODS

Some days are heavier than others. Medical appointments. Transitioning back to school. A therapy schedule that feels like a part-time job. These moments don’t just raise the volume — they can hijack your nervous system. That’s why planning matters, so start managing stress during transitions before they hit. Build a playbook before the chaos starts: pack snacks the night before, text your friend who always grounds you, map out parking in advance. Keep one small thing — even if it’s just the pen you bring — consistent each time. These steps aren’t about eliminating stress; they’re about shifting the ground beneath it. When you have a system in place, you don’t spiral — you act. You need that clarity for yourself and for your child.

SELF-CARE THAT’S ACTUALLY POSSIBLE

Forget bubble baths and spa days. For most special-needs parents, those belong in fiction. Real self-care looks like breathing in your car before pick-up, eating an actual meal, or texting someone just to say you’re unraveling. It means noticing when your chest gets tight — and choosing to pause, even for ten seconds. Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a circuit breaker. Without it, you snap — maybe not outwardly, but inwardly where it counts. By integrating self-care for special-needs parents into your regular routine, you’re not just helping yourself — you’re modeling coping for your child.

BUILDING SUPPORT AROUND YOU

You shouldn’t have to parent in isolation. There are people — local, online, even unexpectedly in your extended family — who get it. But you have to let them in. That means reaching out to the parent you saw at therapy, joining a support group, or looping your sibling into the daily load. Isolation breeds anxiety, but community breaks it. The strength you need isn’t always inside you; sometimes it’s relational. Your village may not look how you imagined, but it exists. Start building a support network that gets your child — and gets you.

INTEGRATING CALM THROUGH CREATIVE TOOLS

Sometimes the thoughts come too fast. Your mind is juggling what-if scenarios, school paperwork, therapy goals, and forgotten laundry. Writing it down — actually seeing it on a page — can help quiet the chaos. Tools like a PDF maker let you turn mental clutter into something tangible: a list, a journal, a shared plan, a routine your child can see too. It’s not about productivity. It’s about finding structure in disorder, calm in motion. And sometimes that structure becomes a shared bridge — between your anxiety and their security.

You’re allowed to feel it. The fear, the frustration, the fog. But what matters most is what you do once you notice it’s there. Your anxiety doesn’t disqualify you — it invites you to build new tools, to find new support, to care for yourself in the margins.

Discover the heartwarming journey of resilience and hope in Vickie Rubin’s award-winning memoir, Raising Jess: A Story of Hope, and explore her insightful blogs for a blend of humor, wisdom, and inspiration.

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For an inspiring stories about Raising a Child with a Rare Chromosome Deletion, check out 3-time award-winning memoir,  Raising Jess: A Story of Hope!

 

Calling All Book Clubs! 

Have you read Raising Jess: A Story of Hope? I’d love to join your book club for an engaging, heartfelt discussion.

We can talk about the real-life moments behind the pages, parenting a child with a rare chromosome deletion, the challenges and joys our family has faced, and the journey that inspired the book.

Message me here or write to vickierubinauthor@gmail.com to set it up.