The morning of October 12th, I sat at my desk practicing Hebrew for my Bat Mitzvah that evening. I am not 13—traditional age for becoming a Bat Mitzvah in front of family, friends, and the community —that ship passed 55 years ago.
Six months back, I saw a notice at our Temple – Congregation Shir Shalom– for an adult B’nai (plural) Mitzvah class. Yes, I want to do that! In true Vickie fashion, I put it on my list of things I mean to do but don’t.
A month later, I received a text from my daughter Carly with an announcement about the Adult B’nai Mitzvah class. She knew it was on my “bucket list.” OK, OK, I’ll sign up.
Bat Mitzvah Day!
The morning of October 12th, as I sat practicing my portion for the gazillionth time, I listened to the news of the release of the remaining living hostages. Tonight we would be celebrating their release along with my Bat Mitzvah. And, although I can’t compare the magnitude between the two events, I love that I will be in Temple and sharing my personal memorable day with the humbling news of the hostage release.
It’s Happening!
The Temple was filled with family, friends, and community to celebrate the 11 people who were formally and publicly showing their dedication to tradition.
We all came from different starting points- most of the class were not born to the Jewish faith. I was so impressed at their decision, especially at this time when antisemitism is rampant. Yet, they chose to become part of the tribe.
OK back to me — I am shvitzing (Yiddish for sweating bullets!) – how does somebody do this at 13? So much pressure – all those people!
I wish one of those people was my Mom – Here is a photo of her Bat Mitzvah in Israel and I think she is older in that photo than I am now!
My Turn
My first moment at the microphone was to sing and lead the V’Ahavta (Vee-Ah-Hav-Tah) prayer.
For six months, I practiced the pronunciation and the chanting tune. Oddly, I thought that I knew all the words-and, not oddly, I was 100% mistaken – I knew none of the words! What was I singing all those years at Temple? Why didn’t anyone stop me?
Oh!, It’s My Turn Again
My next big moment was reading my small portion from the Torah. I taught myself Hebrew this summer and was able to actually read the Hebrew words. Side note, I had a very small portion, so it was not a huge leap – again, how do those 13-year-old kids do it? I guess their brain is also 13 and soaks up more letters!
Me, Once More!
My speech summed up some of the reasons why I would consider this – right here, right now.
Quiet, Please — She’s Speaking
A portion of my speech
Many! Years ago, when I was in third grade, I had a strong memory of my parents saying, “Do you want to go to Hebrew school?” My second solid memory is me saying, “Uh, NO!”
I didn’t regret that decision until I was in my 30s.
Watching all three of my children become bar and bat mitzvah reawakened a desire to formally express my dedication to being Jewish. Yet, I still put it off.
When we decided to celebrate our daughter Jessica’s Bat Mitzvah, we were told that a girl automatically becomes a Bat Mitzvah when she turns 12, and a ceremony is not required. (Jessica has significant disabilities and needs total assistance with all daily life skills.)
Yet, the Rabbi also said that Jessica can show her dedication to religion to the best of her ability, and for her, it was through music.
So, Let Me Get This Straight -I am Already a Bat Mitzvah?
Yes, I had a Bat Mitzvah the day I turned 12; it’s an age thing. BUT I wanted to formally take responsibility to the best of my ability by learning to read from the Torah, correctly pronouncing prayers that I thought I had been pronouncing correctly for years (Oy Vey!) and independently learning how to read Hebrew.
Everyone on this stage has a unique, compelling story of why they are here, but together we share the dream of celebrating our adult B’nai Mitzvah on the bimah (stage) with our family, friends and community.
We met six months ago, under the leadership of Rabbi Alex and Cantor Frank. We dedicated ourselves to learning about prayers, rituals, and what this uniquely means to each of us. Congratulations to all my fellow adult B’nai Mitzvah friends.
October 7 inspired my resolve to become a Bat Mitzvah publicly, and today, October 12th, we celebrate the release of the remaining hostages and the hope for peaceful times. Part of my Torah portion says “And g-d saw the light” – today we see the light.
Thank you to my Dad, who is watching online – (Hi, Dad), for teaching me to love going to Temple and keeping our traditions. To our kids (er adults), Jessica, Alex, and Joyce, Carly and Steve, and grandkids Brady, Griffin, and Noa, who enthusiastically encouraged me.
Finally, thank you to my husband, Mitch, who supported me through every step of this milestone and all my endeavors.
Third grade, Vickie would agree that this day was a long time coming.
Will This Speech Ever End?
PS – On the wall in our home are signed B’nai Mitzvah photos starting with my dad in 1943, and all three of our kids. I want to add my photo to our wall. If you’d like to sign the mat, it will be located in the back of the hall. (Speech Over)
OK, Gotta go write some more thank-you notes! 13-and 68-year-old is Vickie is so grateful…
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I was one of 3 girls living next door to my 3 boy cousins. On Long Island, too! Of course, they were all in Hebrew school and had Bar Mitzvahs. At the time I didn’t think about it much. We briefly belonged to temple, but then my parents got divorced. Neither parent ever asked if we wanted to go to Hebrew school. It wasn’t a girl thing as much back then.
I started thinking more about a Bat Mitzvah in 7th grade when some (not many) of my girlfriends were having theirs.
As an adult, living in East Meadow, I was a member of Hadassah and had some friends who studied for their Bat Mitzvah. I again thought about doing it.
Now that I’m retired, I have again thought about studying for a Bat Mitzvah. Funny that I mentioned it to my husband just before I received your blog post about yours! Maybe it’s a sign that yours could inspire me to finally pursue mine.
Mazel Tov on your Bat Mitzvah and all of your many accomplishments!!
Wow! We have a lot in common. First off the name, Schlanger.! We must be related on some level.
Second, you’re from East Meadow. I grew up in Westbury.! we were East meadow school district!
Third is you want to pursue your bat mitzvah Way after being 13.
I hope you do it, and do it to the best of your ability. Not everybody in my class knew how to read Hebrew. Not everybody did a full reading.
But we were all dedicated to achieving this milestone to the best of our ability.
I hope you find your way to Bimah!
I really appreciate your note and thank you for reading my story
Vickie
Beautiful, Vickie! I love the enthusiasm you bring at every age and your ability to both make it personal and universal. Amazing! Congratulations!
Wynne, THANK YOU!!!!
Your note made my day!!!❤️
What a beautiful journey of life and faith! So happy for you! Fabulous pictures!
Thank you, Lori!!!!
Mazel Tov on your Bat Mitzvah
Your dedication to accomplishing what matters most to you is inspiring
Thank you!!!! i’m not sure who this is because it says anonymous but I am very appreciative and grateful of your well wishes and comment!!!
This is super cute. I love your interjections about “my turn again” and “will this speech every end?” 😛 Congratulations to you and your daughter both! And hooray for crossing something off the bucket list!
Thank you so very much!!!! and congratulations to you on your upcoming book!!!
Interesting post Vickie. You got my day off to a great start. Congratulations!
Thanks, Brian. I really appreciate your note.!!!
And I hope the rest of your day went as well as the beginning! 😊
As always an interesting and inspiring journey you’ve had. I enjoyed the read and your dedication.
As a running coach of post collegiate and Masters runners (those over 40 yo) I often remind folks they can renew their commitment to doing therir very best even later in life. The dedication to something important in ones life (in this case physical fitness) is extremely motivating and makes for a happy (and often successful) life.
Your message is clear. Commit what is important to you . .. and realize the journey is as rewarding as the end product.
Have a great day Vickie . . and Mitch
Mike Reif
Mike! For this profound comments!!! when are you gonna start writing your book?
I really appreciate your encouragement and support—- I have such great respect for you
Peace
Vickie
I love this story. My experience was the opposite-there are no boys in my immediate family, just have 1 sister. So when I was in third grade I actually asked my parents to send me to Hebrew school. We lived in a very Jewish area of New Jersey and I knew a lot of “kids” who were enrolled. My dad only believed boys needed to go but my mom championed my wish and off I went. My sister enrolled a year later. We were members of a conservative synagogue back then but my school was half female.
Anyway, I was bat mitzvahed in 1969 ( yes I’m older than you) as were many of my female friends. Had a nice celebration, photographer- the whole thing.
I still remember almost the entire day and it is still one of my most important accomplishments . Congratulations to you!!
I absolutely love your story and it says it’s written by anonymous so I would love to know who this is! Thank you for sharing your experience!
Bravo to your mom and bravo to you
❤️
Sherri Davis-
Shery, I thought maybe it was you but I didn’t want to make an assumption
Thank you! ❤️
What a wonderful story! I loved this! ❤️
Thank you I really appreciate your comments!!!
❤️