About eight months ago, we began planning our dad’s 95^th Birthday Party. His 90^th was canceled by COVID in 2020, and we were grateful to get another chance. The “we” in this narrative is me, my brother Keith, my sister-in-law Cathy, and my husband, Mitch.

Dad was hesitant to plan so far in advance. He tried to say, “Well, what happens if we can’t have the party?” My thick reply was, “Huh?”  Dad, trying to be clearer to his dense daughter — me—said, “You know, what happens if I am not here?”   I finally got it. “Oh, (head slap), we will just cancel the party!” I was trying to keep it light.

Age doesn’t determine whether you know what each day will bring. So, plan away, which is exactly what we did.

The Gathering 🎉

The youngest attendant was our 6-year-old granddaughter, and the oldest was not my dad but his friend Joe, at 102! We gathered in a festively decorated private room at a local restaurant with family and friends.  Dad was the center of attention. Most of his buddies have been together since the 1960s and 70s. They were together on Long Island and moved to the exact same location in Boca Raton. It’s Long Island 2.0

Once seated, we began with a few speeches. I was the MC and called Dad up first, but I am saving his speech to last.

Words from the Heart

Keith – My Bro

Keith spoke from the heart, not from a piece of paper or a phone. (Fun Fact— Keith followed my dad, who followed his dad, into the garment center in NYC—three generations )  

My brother spoke about how Dad leads by example.  “Dad is a man of character — disciplined, loving and caring, and smart,” He spoke of Dad’s open mind, his ability to change, and the deep, caring love he showed our Mom every day. 

Cousin Lisa

My dad and Lisa’s late mom were brother and sister, and our houses sat next to each other in Westbury, LI.  (Fun Fact: Dr. Cousin Lisa is a twin who gave birth to twins, and now her daughter has recently given birth to twins.)

Lisa spoke movingly about Dad’s devotion to his sister, Carol, and how he repeatedly demonstrated how much she was loved and cherished by him.

These are the lessons we learn from our parents, and even though we are grandparents ourselves, those lessons continue to guide us.

Our Son Alex and Family:

“Grandpa, you’ve been there for everyone your whole life.  I keep coming back to the last few years of Grandma’s life and how you were so present for her day each day. Not out of responsibility, but true love.”  

“Thank you for showing my parents how to spoil the grandkids. I’m seeing the fruit of that labor now.” 😉

“Thank you for helping me learn how to love Broadway, golf and to be a devoted husband.

 

Fun fact: When Alex was in high school, Dad promised him the Camaro convertible as a graduation gift—a hard no from Mitch and me. So Dad told Alex it would be his someday, and Alex ended by hoping Grandpa keeps driving it for many years to come.

Joyce

My grandparents passed when I was in second grade, and gaining Monroe as a grandfather was a gift I never expected.

Our Daughter Carly & Family

“My grandpa has always been someone I looked up to. He’s kind, generous, funny,

strong, and always puts his family first.   One of my favorite memories of growing up was after my Bat Mitzvah. I started reading the Haftorah for Yom Kippur services. My grandparents would come to Buffalo every Yom Kippur to hear me chant the prayer, and I would sit next to grandpa in temple and try to pray like him.”

“He would sing this one prayer so loud and with so much enthusiasm that I always tried to

match it. To this day, when I sit in Yom Kippur services and we sing that prayer, I

immediately think of my grandpa sitting with me  , and it still brings such a smile to my face.”

Hubby Mitch –who shares the Same Birthday as Dad

“Monroe has lived through world wars, typewriters, and rotary phones, yet still manages to pay for his groceries with his Apple Watch. He is generous, kind, and welcoming as a father-in-law. He probably had a few moments wondering, Is this who Vickie brought home, AND he is from Buffalo!?”

“As a father-in-law, Monroe is welcoming, generous, and quietly influential. Long before the phrase “pay it forward” became popular, Monroe lived by it— Mitch said, “I’ve tried to do the same with our family.”

Mitch ended with wisdom he learned from dad, “True class is generosity, true success is family, and legacy is what we pass on to others.”

Jess

It’s always sad, as parents, when the entire family gathers out of town, that the ENTIRE family isn’t there. We are unable to travel with our daughter, Jessica. Jess has complex medical needs,  our backs are old, and travel isn’t possible for Jess.

Below is our family photo. I thank my level-one tech skills and a tip from a beloved cousin for creating the image.

Dad‘s Words

“I hope you don’t mind if I read this because my eyesight is slightly better than my memory – 😉 – Dad thanked everyone for coming and honored those we lost, especially Mom. He celebrated his expanding family, including his most recent dividend, the great-grandchildren. Dad thanked lifelong friends who have shared both joys and hardships —together.”  He was deeply touched and honored to share this day with all of us.

He ended with, “Everyone’s invited in five years to my hundredth birthday, and if I am not here, don’t be sad, it’s been a great run.”

We love you, Dad!

For an inspiring stories about Raising a Child with a Rare Chromosome Deletion, check out 3-time award-winning memoir,  Raising Jess: A Story of Hope!