My First Mother’s Day Without a Mom

My Mom passed away on February 6, 2020 before we “knew” about the impending Pandemic. We were able to say Good-bye to Mom in a traditional way, surrounded by friends and family in comparison to how people are mourning during social distancing. This is my first Mother’s Day without a Mom.

Mom was honest, generous, funny kind and athletic. I’d like to think she passed down to me some of those qualities (plus a list of quirks too long to get into in this blog). She also passed down a cherished ring.

When I was young, the rose gold ring was worn on my ring finger; now, as an adult it fits beautifully on my pinky. The century old piece was handed down from my Grandma Frances to my Mother and then to me. My grandmother also handed down Alzheimer’s to my Mom and I hope that is not the legacy of the ring.

The ring has an odd history of loss and recovery. The first time was in the 1960’s, I was a small child living in Long Island and the ring was my first “real jewelry.” Unfortunately, the ring went missing for close to two years. We searched high and low only to come up empty. Two years later , it was mysteriously found by my Mom on another random search of the basement closet.

I kept the ring close to my finger until 1973. We were skiing in Vermont and as I entered the lodge, I removed my glove only to discover that my rose gold band was missing. Mom immediately sprang into action to find the ring. Searching the ski chalet high and low, Mom eventually found the glistening gem jammed into a metal grate in front of the entrance door, it had been clomped on by multitudes of heavy ski boots yet had no damage.

The ring and I were solid for the next 8 years.  We went to college, met my husband Mitch, got married and moved to Buffalo NY – by then the gem was a solid fixture on my pinky; no longer fitting the traditional ring finger.

Mystery arrived again in 1981. I was 24 and my husband and I were playing a sport each Friday night called Broomball; a winter team sport that resembles ice hockey and played on an ice rink. We arrived home one Friday night to discover that once again my ring was missing! The following week, we were back on the ice rink when one of the men on the broomball team asked the group if anyone lost a ring because he found one in his gym bag! Really?  I wasn’t near his bag which he had left on the floor near the bench.

It is now 2020 and I still wear the ring every day. In May  2019 , our family was visiting Mom and she was trying to tell me something. Mom kept saying “she”, “she” but was frustrated that she could not complete the sentence. Mom had so much to say but struggled to put her thoughts into spoken word. I searched for a piece of paper but only found a napkin and a pencil and asked mom to write down what she wanted to say. Mom very clearly wrote, “I LOVE VICKIE” in capitals and my name spelled right!  I will cherish this act of love.  I will also cherish the ring and the memories it carries.

Full article published in Buffalo News https://buffalonews.com/2020/02/25/diamond-ring-provides-treasured-memories/

Rose Gold Ring
My Parents, Brother and I in the 1960’s and in 2018
Mom was a clean freak!!!!
Mom’s 80th Birthday Celebration 2015

4 thoughts on “My First Mother’s Day Without a Mom

  1. I love this story! I think about my mom all the time. We were not with her when she died and that hurts my heart everyday. Maybe it’s Mother’s Day, or the quarantine, but I’ve been missing my mom so much lately. Both you and I had pretty amazing moms! 💕

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