A Funny Story

Dear Vickala

Dear Vickala, is a letter to high-school Vickie– Hey there, younger self! – Vickala was an occasional nickname. Life’s going to throw curveballs (good and challenging) at you. Laugh at your mistakes, find joy in the little things, and never underestimate the power of love and humor.  This started as an assignment in a writing group – and I thought I would share it with you.

A Letter to Younger Me From Current Me

Dear Vickala,  

I always thought that was a cute nickname. You, we, I – How do I refer to us? As an adult you always wanted to be named Victoria, and when you became 50 you researched name-changing. Ugh, such a lot of paperwork, so we are still Vickie. Although some call me Victoria and it’s also my restaurant reservation name. Nobody spells that longer name wrong. They all spell Vickie wrong.


Remember driving to the Concord Hotel to visit our grandparents in the Catskills , and you saw the sign for Buffalo 430 miles! Well, guess what? You actually live there! Yup! You are not in the city where you always wanted to live. And unbelievably to you right now, you are ok not living in NYC. Although you wished you had visited more.  

Lobby and Stairway of the Concord Hotel

I am writing from a perch of 65 years. And married 43 years! I feel younger but probably look my age. I’ve earned the wrinkles. Without going into too much detail, why ruin the journey for you? I will let you know that you endure hardships, but more importantly, you experience great joy. Your hardships make you a better person. You could use a bit of that.

About Your Brother
three people sitting at a table
Yes, I can read the non-verbal cue!

Stop being mean to your brother; you will still think of it all these years later. You and Dad will become great friends. I know it’s hard to believe now. Mom will be your sounding board when you are newly married; try not to tell her about all the tough times- it puts your future husband in an unfair position. And although mom is the only one you can share your frustrations with at the time, it leaves a mark.

Oh yeah, all that anxiety- it’s still there. But you have a much better understanding of it. You will enjoy country life and traveling in an RV. Unbelievably, a phone in your pocket will answer any question you have in nano-seconds- I can’t begin to describe this because you will think I’m hallucinating!

I know you love meatloaf – well, you have not eaten meat in 39 years! You still miss meatloaf but there are plenty of alternatives that you will find out about in the future.

You will have many loved dogs and, at one point, three at the same time.

Gus (Vizsla) and Daniel (Italian Greyhound)
Maggie (Lab), Mia and Cicero (Italian Greyhounds)
1987 Jess Alex Carly and our dog, Tracey

But most importantly, you will have three children who are the love of your life. They have given you three unbelievable grandchildren; your highlight is spending time with them and your husband.

Your First Child

The birth of your first child will change your life in more ways that I want to share. Your child will teach you and your husband patience, kindness, the value of helping others and the meaning of unconditional love. You and your husband will never be the same and you will both embrace that change.

You and your husband have built a beautiful, loving family. Speaking of your husband and without giving too much detail, he and his business partner develop and bring a new sport that goes worldwide. Life changes for you both after that in ways that you never anticipated. You’ll just have to wait to find out!  

You’re Not going to Believe This!

I know you love to read but guess what? You write an actual book and become an author. Nuts? Right! But true!  

You are going to present a Keynote speech for more than 1000 people this week. Remember when you were scared to talk in front of a class! I wish my future me (like me this Wednesday!) could tell me how it turns out! I will just have to wait. And my gift to you, younger Vickie, is to stop telling you what may happen – you will just have to wait!

My advice is to enjoy your life, tone down the anxiety, be kind, humble, and appreciate each day.  Love Victoria    

21 thoughts on “Dear Vickala

  1. Adelaide Dupont


    I think I have an idea of the sport that went around the world.

    Ultimate Frisbee?


    Or maybe Velcro beach tennis…

    [there is a great article about the latter sport in REASON MAGAZINE].

      1. raisingjessstory Post author

        No, it was originally Garbage Can Frisbee – and I am not sure how that got turned into KanJam – other than a cute spelling of Can and you Jam the frisbee – hmmm…

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