Hope in the Operating Room

Two Years for a Teeth Cleaning: A Dental Story with a Happy Ending

Hope in the Operating Room
Jessica and Dr. Abeles Before OR

After two years of waiting and relentless phone calls, I was on the brink of losing Jessica’s hard-fought dental combo appointment in the operating room (OR).

Why was Jess going to the OR? How come we needed to wait two years? Why was this done at a Children’s Hospital when Jess was 43? Why, did they almost cancel our appointment two days before the procedure? What’s a combo appointment?  And how did Jessica’s phenomenal Doctor save the Day? OK, OK, I will start explaining.

Sign-up for Vickie's Views

WHY?

Every Single Thing

Our daughter Jessica has a rare chromosome disorder and needs help with every single thing, including brushing her teeth.  She fights the nightly brushing routine, and staff in her group home cannot force the issue. That would violate Jessica’s right NOT to brush her teeth.  

A woman and a young adult with a joyful expression, both smiling widely for a selfie, with a cozy indoor setting in the background.
Hey Mom, I think My Teeth Look Just Fine!

Jess visits the hygienist every few months.  She also visits her primary physician. Her primary is not the typical doc. Dr. Jenn Abeles does it all from head to toe. However, there are some procedures that Jess will not tolerate, such as ear cleaning, a pap smear, or even nail cutting.

Hey, Girl – I get it!

So short story long – her primary comes into the OR and provides these services while Jessica is under general anesthesia for her dental work. It’s referred to as a combo service. Or maybe I call it a combo service – there’s probably a much bigger, more complicated word to describe the procedure duet.

Why was Jess going to the OR?

Proper cleaning is impossible to accomplish. And don’t even get me started on the concept of filling a cavity in the office.  I would need anesthesia and a glass of wine for that one!

Shiny Teeth
Cheers! To Shiny Teeth!
Dental Dilemma for Individuals with Disabilities

Dental cleanings and procedures for individuals like Jess can be done under general anesthesia in a hospital. It’s frightening for family members.  On the one hand, who wants their loved one to go this extreme for a full mouth cleaning?  On the other hand, healthy teeth and gums are necessary for overall health; poor oral hygiene can lead to other life-threatening diseases. 

So, yeah, Jess needs to do this.

The Two-Year Wait

Few dentists offer this service, and the waiting list is incredibly long. I was told to call the office for cancellations, and in 2023, I began calling weekly, then monthly, then every once in a while… I finally gave up after a year of voicemails and frustration.

A woman with short red hair is yelling into her smartphone while expressing frustration outdoors, with a modern building in the background.

We decided to wait and do our best to maintain her oral health. When I say our best, what I mean is her dedicated staff in her group home.

Why Children’s Hospital when Jess is 43?

The practice that provides Jessica’s specialized service is more of a pediatric practice with a specialty in individuals with developmental disabilities. Oishei Children’s Hospital of Buffalo is the only dedicated pediatric OR for all subspecialists, such as dentistry. Jess is a good fit for this practice.

Last Minute Crisis – Two days before the procedure

 I received a call two days before Dental Day with the news that Jessica’s appointment would be canceled by that afternoon unless we resolved the new issue. New Issue??? UGH, There’s always a dilemma. This is my understanding of the following, and it may have some loopholes or flaws in the retelling. 

This is MY Understanding- WARNING!!! I May be Completely Wrong (Not an Unusual Occurrence! 😉)

Adults can receive a procedure at the Children’s Hospital for dentistry only if they are getting a combo adult service. I always thought the combo idea was a great idea. IN FACT, I THOUGHT IT WAS MY IDEA TO DO THE ONE STOP SHOP WITH JESS! Oh well….

Save the Date

Dr. Jenn saved the date two years ago to join the dental team and provide quick services while Jessica was artificially snoozing. This would be the third time Dr. Jenn would join the dental team in the OR.

Disturbing Call

A vintage rotary telephone with a circular dial and a coiled cord, placed on a wooden surface.

The Dentist Office Scheduler called – “Mrs. Rubin, Jessica’s Primary Care Physician (PCP), needs to have specific OR privileges to provide gynecological services in the OR.”  I replied that she has privileges, and this is her third time going in with Jessica.”  No Can Do!

In a consolatory funk, I asked, “Well, OK, what if we just do the dental without the rest?”   The reply was, “Only combo procedures are allowed with adults.”  There’s the hitch, Jessica: an adult can be seen in a Children’s hospital because she’s also receiving a legitimate adult service. I didn’t realize the combo was mandatory – and as I said – I thought it was MY idea to do a one-stop shop!

Dental
MOM, CAN YOU SHORTEN THIS STORY!

Dr. Jenn didn’t hear the word “no” and made sure that the operating room appointment went smoothly.  She confirmed her proper credentials and submitted documentation to save the combo appointment. THANK YOU, Dr Jenn!

 On May 15th, 2025, we kissed Jess for good luck and sent her off to the Operating Room to receive general anesthesia and a body/mouth overhaul.

dENTAL
STAFF WERE WONDERFUL WITH JESSICA

Pause for a LOUD SIGH OF RELIEF!

Jess had ZERO cavities, did well with anesthesia, had a full exam by Dr. Jenn, and was ready to go home within a few hours.

Jess Dental
CAN WE GO HOME NOW!
Moments like these give bring us hope. People care, and we are grateful. 

Oh, I guess it’s time to make the next appointment for 2028! 

Your Turn! Would love to hear your comments

15 thoughts on “Two Years for a Teeth Cleaning: A Dental Story with a Happy Ending

  1. indianeskitchen

    Wow that is amazing! Her doctor is a rare doctor, but you know that. They don’t do anything like that where I live. I am retired from being a self employed independent provider and there was no way a few of my clients would allow the dental and Pap test as well. Group homes are wonderful but it is difficult when they can’t convinced our clients to brush their teeth or to go to appointments that are good for them. It’s wonderful we are giving these adults their rights though. Kudos to you for being such a wonderful mom!

    Reply
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      I had no idea that you were an independent provider! I only know you as a wonderful cook! So many talents – Thank you for your note – I know you get it! and thank you for your kind words! 💖

      Reply
  2. Victoria

    This is such an important post. Things that can be taken for granted…oh my, yes. Your perseverance and poise shine throughout…and of course, the positive outcome is THE BEST. Please give my love to sweet Jessica. She did great, great, great! xo! 💕🥰💕

    Reply
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Thank you, Vickie – I know you get it – but so many people aren’t aware of the details of daily life for Jess and others. Jessica will get a hug today from two Vicki(e)’s! xoxo💖

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Always enjoy your stories Vicki. You are all blessed in one way or another. Jess for having the great parents and family she has, and all of you for having Jess who is an amazing wonder. Always in my prayers, Gayle

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Reading your stories brings tears to my eyes…mostly happy tears, mostly because of your dedication (of course, it’s your daughter), but I suspect many parents don’t or can’t do most of the things you do for Jess… and that’s another reason it brings me to tears, because I think of all the children that don’t get that kind of nurturing. Gob Bless you and Mitch, and your whole family for that dedication to your child, Jess picked you guys for parents for a reason…

    Reply
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      I wish I knew who wrote this beautiful comment. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and you were bringing tears to my eyes. I appreciate you taking the time to write your beautiful note and for reading.
      💕

      Reply
  5. Ab

    What a roller coaster, Vickie! The extra steps and emotions that come with our children and the daily things that we take for granted. I’m so glad that it all worked out in the end for Jess. Time to open a new bottle of wine!

    Reply
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Yes, so many ups and downs! but mostly UPS! I had a friend tell me they had no idea about the steps to get proper dental work – I know you teach and enlighten so many about FASD with your posts – I am glad that this post shined some light on some of the detours we have to take to get proper dental care. XOV

      Reply
  6. Elizabeth Mahoney

    Wow Vickie!!! Nothing is easy with these kids. I’m happy to read that all went well for Jessica and that she’s now flashing a ‘Hollywood’ smile. Kate had a trip to the OR for dental surgery on Thursday. She had a deep clean, X-rays and three extractions, two being wisdom teeth. She’s bruised and battered and pretty sick atm but the work had to be done. Kate can’t explain toothache and pain so any issues need to be dealt with every few years and always under anaesthetic. The procedure was done in a public hospital which the Sydney Dental Hospital is affiliated with. She is in the Adults Special Needs category. We don’t pay anything for the whole procedure. I don’t think Kate would be able to have a ‘combo’ treatment but it does make sense to make enquiries about this, especially as she ages and may need regular invasive (for those with disabilities) tests. From the pre admission clinic to the nurses, dentists and oral surgeons, we couldn’t be happier with her treatment. Kate was treated with care and respect with even the aneasthetist playing Rod Stewart’s Christmas Album in the OR… yes she requested Christmas music!!! Our girls can flash their smiles at each other over the Pacific Ocean. I’m just hoping Kate is more comfortable as the days go by. Sadly, she doesn’t understand why she has such a sore mouth and is frustrated and cranky but I don’t blame her.

    Reply
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Elizabeth – I am so grateful that across the ocean we can share similar experiences. It’s heartbreaking to see our children hurting without understanding why… I pray that Kate improves quickly… It’s also wonderful to see that both Sydney and Buffalo serve our children well…And YAY! for Christmas in July Music! XOV

      Reply

Your Turn! Would love to hear your comments