Dun-dun… dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUNNNNNN. My funny story is in The Buffalo News! If you don’t have a subscription, the free version is below

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My husband Mitch loves to fish. I’m not just talking about, “Hey, let’s go for a few hours.”  Fishing to Mitch means hours and hours — I have no attention span for that, and there is no bathroom! Only the bucket, which reminds me of my first RV trip! Mitch’s ultimate unfulfilled quest is for the elusive tarpon. My attention came into focus when we spotted JAWS in the Keys. Was it a tarpon? A shark?

First Mate

So, I am going on my three-hour tour on his boat – cue the Gilligan’s Island theme song. He is fishing with two poles while I am talking on my phone to my friend, Sheryl. Yes, we have great cell service on the waters in the Keys.

All of a sudden, I hear, “Vic, I’ve got a big one!”  “OMG! I don’t know what it is, but it is huge!”  I quickly get off the phone while Sheryl is telling me a story. Later that day,  I apologized for my rudeness, but this was my time to be the great first mate! Literally and figuratively! And Sheryl understands that when duty calls, I need to go! I think this may or may not have been part of the unwritten wedding vows taken more than 46 years ago.

Wait, How Do I Start the Boat

For those who have not experienced combat between man and fish, let me tell you it is grueling. Watching Mitch pull the reel up, lift 150–200 pounds of fish, then lower the rod to take up more line, should be an Olympic weight lifting event!

And we are of a certain age, where pushing yourself to the physical limits in the middle of the waters miles from land, with a wife who doesn’t even know how to start the boat, is always questionable.

My Turn

Mitch was about 40 minutes into the epic showdown when I asked to give the reel a try. . Thanks to my personal trainer, Ann, I was able to fight the beast. By the way, we still were not completely sure what this underwater creature was.

WOW! This was a thrill!  Mitch guided me, “pull up with the pole and then bring the pole down and reel in some line,” and that’s what you do over and over and over and over again.

After 5 minutes, I was exhausted – and Mitch was ready to take back the helm.

The shark came to the surface, and we saw it’s enormous body and TEETH!

Answers to questions from non-fishing friends.

1. Do you just throw the pole in the water?
   • No, you cut the line as close to the hook as possible when the shark is close enough to the boat. Mitch held the line, and I took his yucky fish gut knife and set the shark free.
2. Weren’t you afraid the shark was going to jump into the boat?
   • Again, no – although our shark looked like Jaws to me – there was no chance that the sea predator would leap into the boat.
3. A funny text I received said, If you still have all your fingers, let me know what kind of shark it was.
   • Mitch and I both have our ten fingers —his are filled with cuts, scrapes, and battle scars. He did get a bruise from holding the pole against his body for so long.
   • We (he) determined that we caught a Lemon Shark – his name is gentler than his appearance suggests.

So that was my day yesterday, and Mitch said that since I was such a good first mate and photographer, he has requested my services again today. Hmm, maybe this will be a new career?