Happy Anniversary, Mitch. Today, December 1, 2023, is our 44th wedding anniversary.

Mitch and I were married in 1979. I remember when our parents were married for 25 years, and we thought that was unbelievable. 25 years sounded like an eternity, considering we were married for only 6-months. And now our marriage is 44 years, 16,060 days, 385,704 hours (actually, I thought it would be more), 23,126,400 minutes old! But who’s counting, anyway?

Remember This Anniversary Story

Some may remember how we celebrated our 41st anniversary at the beginning of the pandemic. It was memorable, to say the least.

Back to 1975-1979

(This portion taken from my book, Raising Jess.)

I met Mitch on the first day of our second semester at the University of Miami, 1976. My roommate Tami and moved into a new dorm, and as we sat on the couch in the lobby, I ran into Jay, a friend from Long Island. Jay was standing with a skinny, long-haired dude whom he introduced as Mitch from Buffalo. Tami and I said” Hi” and quickly fled to the elevator. 

Anyone Need A Ride?

The next day, a few friends and I were invited to a party off campus, and we didn’t have a car. It was 1976, and we didn’t have cell phones, Ubers, or Lyft; the only way to travel was to hitch, at least in our minds. We arrived safely at the party and stayed for several hours. It was close to midnight when I stepped onto the patio and saw Mitch and I knew had a car (high commodity in those days) . Ironically, I asked him, “What time is it?” (Four years later Mitch would open a watch store called Watch World. He always loved that one of my first lines to him was, “What time is it?”) I also asked him for a lift back to the dorms. We started dating immediately after this second chance meeting. 

I swear I am not a hoarder but I did keep the shirt I bought and wore on our first date.

Really, Dad?

Mitch graduated in December 1978, five months before my planned graduation in May. He returned to Buffalo to start working with his father, and we wrote letters and talked on the phone daily. Mitch flew back to Miami in February, and we went to dinner. He was so awkward during the evening that I wondered if our relationship had changed now that we were apart. On the contrary, and unbeknownst to me, Mitch was trying to get the courage to “pop the question.” 

Mitch had flown to New York before his flight to Miami to ask my Dad for my hand in marriage. My Dad’s reply was something to the effect that “as long as he can keep me in the style that I was accustomed.” That should have been enough to send Mitch running for the hills. But to his credit, he continued to Miami with the ring and two newspapers he had printed in New York that said, “Vickie and Mitch Engaged!” 

Will You… Uh, Will You…Gulp…

We sat awkwardly at the restaurant until Mitch hesitantly said, “Will you marry me.” He also gave me a couple of caveats, one being that if I didn’t say “yes,” I should drive him back to the airport immediately. The second caveat I have no memory of, but Mitch is very clear, is about him going on annual fishing trips. After our negotiations were completed, I, of course, said “yes.” We were married seven months after graduation. 

Back to Today’s Post

My Mom went into high gear when she heard the word wedding! Chi-Chi was the theme – I am using the fancy word for the word FANCY! My groom-to-be submitted two requests; he lost on both accounts! He didn’t realize who he was up against! A Long Island Mother with a mission.

Beer Here! (Not)

His first request was to serve beer at the wedding. ‘NO!” Mom refused to serve any brew at the wedding. She thought that would be tacky. Mitch tried using all his negotiation skills and finally won a small victory. Mom agreed to Heineken in bottles only. Mitch and all is buddies enjoyed the beers all night and could not get over that as soon as they were done with one bottle, a server brought the next cold one. Many years later, Mom grew to enjoy an occasional beer, but that was a future mom.

No Dais For YOU!

The second request from Mitch was a Dias. You know what I mean, where the groom, bride, and all their attendants sit at one long table overlooking the entire room. “NO WAY! ” replied Mom. Mitch had six groomsmen and one best man. I was honored with three bridesmaids, and two maids of honors. Mom won, we had round tables, and the bridal party was split up.

One groomsman never forgave Mitch for not sitting at our table; he still does not talk to Mitch. WOW, talk about holding a grudge! I wish we knew about the sweetheart table reserved for the bride and groom, but I don’t think it was invented yet. AND Mom would have cut that before we finished the word sweetheart.

Mitch and I always wish we were guests at our wedding because, to this day, it’s one of the most beautiful events we have attended. Mom knocked it out of the park! And I guess it was worth the investment because we are still celebrating 44 years later! Knock on wood, please!

Marriage Statistics When Your Child Has a Disability

Many families who have a child with a disability often end in divorce. Surveys show that the rate of divorce in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87%.  I am proud and grateful that we were able to push through the ups and downs of Raising Jess. Mitch and I are different in so many ways, but we are completely united about our love for Jessica and the care she receives.

Five children (adults) including our SIL and DIL, three grandchildren, 6 dogs, 4 moves within the same town, and we still like and love each other.

Marriage takes hard work. My wisdom, after 44 years, is not very mind shattering. Marriage is a rollercoaster. So many highs combined with lows. Our stomachs may be in knots and the next day our hands are raised in screams of joy.  I don’t hold any secrets, just that each day we wake up knowing we are family, we love and are committed to each other. And geez we hope it’s going to be a good day!

Happy Anniversary, Mitch

I am glad that we are on this marriage rollercoaster together.

Love, Vickie

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For inspiring stories about Raising a Child with a Rare Chromosome Deletion, check out the 3-time award-winning memoir  Raising Jess: A Story of Hope!

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