When visiting my dad in Boca Raton, we must be prepared to eat. I’m not talking about three square meals; I mean EATing ~with capital letters ~ in paradise, also known as the club. However, while dining this past weekend, we encountered a Club Cuisine Crisis; let me explain.

Imagine going to an ornate wedding, and the food is just coming at you rapidly. Keep that thought in mind, and you can envision a typical lunch at the club. Zoom –there goes a bagel chip, Zoom- here are some pickles, Zoom- endless salad bars, Zoom – dessertssss- And if you think you are going low-cal with the salad bar, think again.

Many years ago, when Mom was in her prime, she prided on never missing a beat when giving advice. My husband Mitch planned on eating a pastrami sandwich at the club. “Get the small”, my mom cautioned. Getting small and eating a meal, particularly a pastrami sandwich, are conflicting phrases in Mitch’s world.

So, he got the large and without going into too much detail. And believe me, as a writer, I can give details. The result of that Goliath sandwich was that Mom was right. She was always right. And I wish I could have her nagging me right now…

Anyway, back to eating. 

We are only in paradise for a few days, so the food vs day ratio is high. Last night was the culmination of cuisine. We were meeting my cousin Andrea and her husband Randy for dinner. This was after a massive lunch with Cousins Lisa and Doug. Round Two!

But first, the Hor d’oeuvres, and there are many, coupled with a hefty pour of wine. You may be full and tipsy when you walk into the dining area. No worries: there is always room for more OF Everything!

We sauntered into the beautiful room. The servers are waiting to pull out our chairs. Managers with headsets, looking like they are landing a plane, think airport marshallers, are managing the room, and the restaurant is full. Behind me is a buffet, and for lack of a better SAT word, its size and selection options are ridiculous.

Starting with copious amounts of beef, fish, chicken, and vegetables sizzling, sauteing, boiling, grilling, marinating, and waiting to be consumed. The salad bar is overflowing with choices from Weight Watchers carrots to glutenous potato salad for the folks who try to convince themselves it’s a vegetable.

The desserts are delectable and plated beautifully (I watch cooking shows and know the vocabulary!)

And we sit down to eat. All is going well. My daughter and cousin Randy ordered the buffet, and my cousin and I had boring but delicious salmon. My dad had some Fred Flintstone beef thing.

But then an unexpected alarm. Was Carly getting seconds or thirds? Who knows… Randy was happily perusing the desert island when, suddenly, the lights started flashing.

A siren goes off, telling everyone to get up and leave the area. Of course, nobody moves. We were eating at the club and just got to the good part; we hadn’t even had dessert yet. And, oh yeah, there is still wine in our glasses.  

We all thought it was one of those moments when the restaurant managers with headsets would tell us not to worry, false alarm. And so, we nervously looked around and sat for a bit. One Mississippi, two Mississippi – and then the air marshall-food manager people said we needed to leave the building immediately.

Andrea had to fetch Randy from the dessert display. Dad, age 93, sprinted out and said, “Give me the valet ticket. Everyone is going to want to get the car at the same time!” He’s pretty fast when there is a mission. I couldn’t keep up as he traversed the crowd.

We all followed, many with drinks and desserts in hand, and left the building.

The club has many Jewish members, and my first thought was terrorism. Part of me was waiting for an explosion. Not only does this scare me, but it is incredibly heartbreaking.

It’s the following day, and I still don’t know what happened last night. I know it was not terrorism; perhaps it was a false alarm. But it will be a story to tell repeatedly, remember when we had Eating Interruptus …..

Oh, and one more thing. My daughter Carly and I flew home the next day during a Nor’easter and a Bill’s Game. The weather was frightening, but these passengers were on a mission within the plane. GO BILLS. Every TV was displaying the game, and applause was heard amidst the turbulence when the Bills scored! And they Scored a lot!

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