Opinion Piece Buffalo News – My View

 

My husband Mitch refers to my childhood home as “Tara,” the glorious homestead featured in the movie Gone with the Wind. My Tara was not antebellum style; it was more suburban Long Island ante-chic. But to me, it was home.

Westbury

We moved to Westbury, Long Island, when I was almost four, and my unborn brother was months away from appearing. My dad’s sister and her family lived next door to us. On the other side of our house was one of three homes belonging to cousins from another family.

Kids of all ages played kickball, argued, and shared birthdays. We even learned the “Cha-Cha” from neighbor Millie, who had once been a line dancer in NYC. One, two, cha-cha-cha! None of us was very good or coordinated, but Millie kept up the encouragement. Back in the 60s and 70s, all the neighborhood kids felt like cousins, connected by shared experiences.

“The City”

We were close to New York City. Throughout high school, I imagined living in “the city” as an adult, specifically on the Upper East Side. My vision included easy access to Bloomingdale’s and all the new Broadway shows. I did not consider how I would afford any of it at the time.

My childhood home became legendary to me because I felt safe and loved by my family, and embraced by our small community. Before you start thinking it was idyllic, it was not. I was rebellious, always fighting the rules and curfews,  and trying to get my way! Yet the secure foundation gave me the confidence to navigate tough times as an adult and kept me grounded.

Where are you from?

I have lived in Buffalo, NY, since 1979, yet when people ask where I am from, I still often say, “I’m originally from Long Island…” Why is that? Perhaps it connects me to a larger picture of my identity and history. There is something about where I was raised that will always be my provenance, the first chapters of my personal story. Mitch reminds me I lived only 18 years in the NYC suburb, and well, you can do the math. Yet, those formative years still coax me to say, “originally from Long Island.”

The move to Buffalo was a tough one – the difference was tremendous. First off, my immediate family was four hundred miles away. Shallow, younger me was disappointed by the lack of shopping. Lonely Vickie could not find a friend. Nevertheless, I moved here to start my life with Mitch and was determined to overcome all the perceived hardships and make Buffalo my new home.

Jessica

It wasn’t quick, smooth, or easy, but it happened! I slowly made friends who would become family. I found my community and felt a sense of belonging. I saw the love and devotion my new village showed my husband and me when our daughter was diagnosed with a rare chromosomal deletion. Our village stepped in when Jess was young and volunteered at my home.  Jessica is now 43, and we still have the tremendous support of friends and family. Westbury will always hold a strong place in my heart. Yet it is no longer where I want to be. My sanctuary is now in a Buffalo suburb. My home is less about brick and mortar and more about my people. My home is my family, friends, and the local community.

My New Tara

Now, in 2026, living with my husband and Vizsla (Gus), I feel the same as I did in my childhood home. It is my new Tara, and I promise I will not make a velvet dress from curtains, a la “Gone With The Wind!”

For an inspiring stories about Raising a Child with a Rare Chromosome Deletion, check out 3-time award-winning memoir,  Raising Jess: A Story of Hope!