The date was May 1, 1990. Our daughter Jessica was scheduled for her first and last hip surgery. The decision to put our eight-year-old first child through major surgery was agonizing.

Unexpected Challenges

Jessica was born on April 11, 1982. She was delivered on Easter Sunday. My contractions peaked while I scratched my future chicken pox scars. Yes, after 24 years, I finally caught chicken pox while birthing my first child! Nine months later, we discovered Jessica had multiple cognitive and physical disabilities, ironically unrelated to Chicken Pox. Eight years later, her first and last hip surgery, and 21 years later, confirmation of a rare chromosome diagnosis. Many unexpected Challenges

Bilateral Hip Dislocation

When Jessica was seven, her pediatrician suggested that we visit a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. The doctor was concerned about her hips. We soon discovered that Jessica had bilateral hip dislocation. Both hips were out of the sockets and needed reinstalling, for lack of a better medical term.

We struggled with the decision to repair her first hip. The risks of anesthesia, post-operative pain, blood loss, and long recovery were listed on the “Don’t Do This” side of the Pros and Cons. The benefits list included a repaired hip, better stability, and, hopefully, less pain in the future. After weighing the risks versus benefits, we decided to proceed with the surgery. 

Surgery

The day arrived for Jessica’s operation.  We kissed and said goodbye to our Jess, not knowing what lay ahead for all of us. My husband Mitch and I walked to the pacing room, also known as the waiting room. Many anxious hours passed, and we finally received word that Jessica’s procedure was complete. Jessica was in post-op.

She survived the initial surgery  and everything appeared to be well.

We were finally allowed to visit her in the recovery room. We gingerly entered her room, unsure what we would see or if Jess was awake. Jess lay in the bed, oblivious to her surroundings. Shockingly, her lips were the same color as her ashen skin. I was alarmed and asked the nurse to please check her vitals.

Crisis

The nurse approached Jessica’s silent bed and grabbed blood pressure Blood Pressure (BP) Cuff 1 –   Pump., Pump, Pump, swish. No reading. She attempted again. Pump, Pump, Pump, Swish…. Nothing

We watched this with silence and fear. The nurse determined that BP Cuff 1 was broken since it had no reading. “No worries, the caregiver said, it must be the Cuff.”  She left the room to retrieve BP Cuff 2.

Several minutes later, we hear the same: Pump, Pump, Pump, Swish….. Hmmm., Pump Pump, Pump Swish…

I am not sure why it never occurred to her that Jess was crashing and in crisis. The blood pressure machines were working.

Call A Code

Through some higher intervention, Coincidence, fate, prayer, and luck, her surgeon entered the still room. He looked at Jessica and shouted, “Call a Code!” Within seconds, the hushed room buzzed with activity and sound.   Yes, she was losing too much blood. This was a crisis. 

I admit I did not handle this well. I ran out the door, muttering that this couldn’t happen; the unfolding scene was too much for me to watch. So many thoughts were running through my head. How could we let this occur? We will not survive without Jessica. How will we tell her younger siblings?

A few minutes later, I heard footsteps in the deserted hall behind me and turn to see a priest. “Oh No!” I gasped – He looked at me, realizing that I thought he was the bearer of bad news. I was somewhat relieved when he said, “I just want to say a prayer for your daughter.” Yes, all prayers and all denominations were welcome.

Jessica lost a lot of blood after her first and last hip surgery. She received several transfusions and was moved to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), where she finally recovered enough to come back to our arms and home.

Advocate

What is the purpose of a blood pressure cuff if you do not trust the results of two cuffs? Why didn’t I do more about this nurse’s negligence? It could have been a learning moment for her. It WAS a learning moment for me. Trust your gut, MOM. I vowed to Advocate, Advocate, Advocate.

I was an experienced educational advocate, but medical decisions posed new uncertainty. Did I understand enough medical information to insist on more intervention? The answer is yes because I know Jessica. I learned that it is vital to listen to medical professionals but also LISTEN to your instincts. A parent knows their child thoroughly; they are the principal advocates and cannot be intimidated by people with different expertise.

First and Last Hip Surgery

The doctor and we decided that this was Jessica’s first and last hip surgery. Reflecting on this experience, I know that I will never forget the color of Jessica’s lips, the scream of Call a Code, the priest, and most importantly, Jessica’s survival. I will remember to follow my gut and Advocate, Advocate, Advocate

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My memoir ‘Raising Jess: a Story of Hope‘ is a heartwarming collection of stories just like the one you just read on my blog. Whether you’re a parent, educator, medical professional, therapist, or simply someone who appreciates a good story, ‘Raising Jess’ is a must-read. Check out the glowing reviews on Amazon and share the joy with everyone who needs a little boost. Get your copy of ‘Raising Jess’ today!” Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart, Goodreads