Daniel

Our Daniel: When Love Means Letting Go (Buffalo News)

An Italian Greyhound wearing a bright orange life jacket stands on the deck of a boat, gazing out at the water.

My View Buffalo News: Sometimes you have to accept that it’s time to say goodbye

A woman with curly hair holding a cup, sitting in a cozy space, wearing a colorful plaid shawl.

Daniel, our Italian Greyhound (IGGY), is 13 years old —and his body and he are trying to tell us something.  Just a few days ago, he showed moments when he had a bounce in his newly awkward gait. But mostly, Daniel is medicated because he is in pain.

Is it his time?

Is it his time? Sometimes we say yes. And then, as if he heard our conversation, he gives another wag and a prance — and we know that neither he nor we are ready.

Doctors

Could be a tumor or disc disease. Perhaps it is an autoimmune inflammatory condition. The questions spiral like a tornado – the answers remain few and silent.

Because of his age, size, and breed, anesthesia could be fatal. Surgical recovery — months of pain and restricted movement — would be intense. And if it is a tumor and not a disc, it’s terminal.

Is compassion not performing heroic measures for an uncertain and painful outcome?

Our other dogs let us know when it was time. Is Daniel telling us now, but are we unable or unwilling to hear his message?

I searched his eyes for an answer; he searched mine for a decision.

We Schedule an MRI

We arrive early for our 8 a.m. appointment with the veterinary neurologist, and I think we are going through with the complicated sedation and testing. As we sit with the veterinary neurology tech, Matt, my husband, Mitch, says, “I have one more question.”

“What is the best scenario?”

Matt hesitates and looks us in the eye. The best scenario, he explains, would be one small disc that needs repair. The surgery is extensive, and the recovery and post-op are intense. The more likely diagnosis is a tumor that may have spread. He reminds us that, due to Daniel’s age and breed, the procedures are very risky, and Daniel may not survive any of it.

Compassion

Matt’s compassion — as a dog owner, a professional, and simply a good guy  — guides his honest words. He leads us to a private room so that Mitch, I, and Daniel can make a decision.

Daniel
IS THAT WHY I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU?

Daniel has been in pain for weeks. The crate rest and meds have not worked. There are small windows where the meds are just right, so that I can lift him from his stroller for hugs, pets, and a visit to our lawn.

Daniel and Gus
GUS WILL MISS DANIEL, TOO

Mitch says it is ultimately up to me, but he thinks it is the moment to say goodbye. My head knows this is the right decision. My heart is shocked that it’s now.

Together, we decide that this is Daniel’s time. The doctors agree — our painful choice is a compassionate choice.

With my head resting on Daniel’s and Mitch’s and my hands on his body, the doctor inserts the life-ending injection. Daniel slowly quiets until he is completely still. I feel the minute life leaves his body.

Fly over the rainbow bridge, Daniel. Your pain is gone, and our pain is growing. You are at peace, and we are heartbroken, but we are also at peace.

A brown dog wearing a colorful bandana sits closely with a small Italian Greyhound on a leather couch, both looking towards the camera.
Daniel and his Vizsla brother Gus

 

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34 thoughts on “Our Daniel: When Love Means Letting Go (Buffalo News)”

  2. Caz / InvisiblyMe

    I’ve only just found your blog so I’m sorry that it’s not really my place to offer condolences, but I really am truly so very, very sorry. It brought a few tears to my eyes as I read this as it’s just so damn painful. It’s so damn hard to know when it’s time, or to accept it anyway.

    Those moments our furbabies seem okay, even if few and far between, make us think the time isn’t now, they’re okay, we can’t give in right now. But then we see pain and the possible outcomes aren’t good. You guys did the best you could in that situation and I believe that given the prognosis for any possible surgery, which would have been very likely to be needed by the sounds of it. I

    know it doesn’t make it much easier to bear the thought of the loss, but at least it can be loss without guilt or second guessing.

    I hope you can hold on to lots of beautiful, fun, weird and wonderful memories of Daniel and know he had a good life with you.

    Sending hugs and best wishes,
    Caz xx

    Reply ↓
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Dear Caz, thank you for your beautiful note. And I truly appreciate your thoughtful and kind condolences- we are thinking of Daniel often and hopefully our memories of the good will outweigh the last few weeks.
      With appreciation,
      Vickie

      Reply ↓
  4. Victoria

    Vickie…I’m so, so sorry. Sending all my love. I have no words, other than to say I appreciate you sharing with us. The photo of Gus and Daniel giving each another a ‘nose kiss’ is heart wrenching and wonderful – all at the same time. Take care! 💔

    Reply ↓
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Vicki- Thank you for your kindness – I also love that photo – Gus has been moping around – he also misses his buddy. Thank you for your compassion – with love, Vickie

      Reply ↓
  5. Wynne Leon

    Oh, Vickie! I’m so sorry. Daniel is such a beautiful boy and spirit. So hard to let them go. I’m sending a huge heart hug for you all! RIP, dear Daniel!

    Reply ↓
  6. Norma Rubin

    Your words are so beautiful. Norma

    On Fri, Oct 10, 2025 at 7:44 AM Vickie Rubin: Special Educator, Advocate, &

    Reply ↓
  10. Anonymous

    Compassion is the hardest gift of all! I sobbed as I read this and send you all comforting hugs! I understand the total devastation and applaud you for freeing Daniel from his pain! Fly free sweet boy! 🌈

    Reply ↓
    1. Vickie Rubin Post author

      Thank you for your beautiful note! I wish I knew who wrote this it says anonymous.
      But I really appreciate your support and compassion
      ❤️💙🌈

      Reply ↓
  11. BARBARA

    So beautiful. The love we have for our pets can only be understood by those that get to share this love.

    Reply ↓
  12. AS

    It never gets easier to have to make that decision, but I know that you know it was the right one. Daniel was such a good dog, and a true member of your family. Thank you for sharing these immensely difficult thoughts. He was blessed to have you as his mommy.

    Reply ↓
  15. monrodiann

    There is doubt that was the most moving blog you ever sent.  I could feel your pain, and joined you in your sorrow

    Reply ↓

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